A rant about mono

by Phoebe Cohen, Feature Editor

I have mono. And to answer the first question that just popped into your head: no, I did not get it from making out with a guy.

Mono, short for mononucleosis, is an illness that develops from EBV, or Epstein-Barr Virus, and causes sore throat, swollen glands, fever, and severe fatigue. This is spread through saliva and is often called the “kissing disease.” It is most commonly found in teenagers because, well, they like to swap spit.

But there are other ways to get mono. I, for example, got it from constantly drinking my friends’ tea or coffee. It can be passed any way in which saliva is involved, such as sharing a drink, an eating utensil, or God forbid, a toothbrush.

My favorite things to do while suffering from this horrible illness include: taking six hour naps, looking at my swollen glands in the mirror, eating excessive amounts of Oreos, and threatening to lick people who annoy me.

Mono is kind of a fun illness to have in terms of getting what you want because people take pity on you. I’ve had friends and family bring me their dinner leftovers, chai tea, books, breakfast in bed, and anything else I could possibly ask for.

However, this “mono-high” lasts only a couple of days. It lasts until you realize that you’re way behind in school, you’re too tired to go out on a Saturday night, boys are completely out of the picture, and your hygiene has gotten so poor that you’ve worn the same shirt for about four days in a row.

What is the point of this mono rant? There isn’t one. I guess I just needed to vent to a demographic of people who understand the trials and tribulations of handling high school life while also simply trying to get through a shower without having to sit down four times due to exhaustion.

However, if this explanation does not satisfy you and you are one of those people who look to learn something or find a point in everything they read, consider this rant a public service announcement to raise mono awareness.

My lesson for all of you who are still vulnerable to mono is this: do some research on this very-common-and-highly-contagious-in-teenagers illness, don’t drink out of other peoples’ drinks, and be careful who you make out with. Because trust me, you don’t want to spend four months of your high school life dealing with all the pros and cons (but mostly, almost completely, just cons) of mononucleosis.