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HHS water fountain review

Feb 28, 2023

Webster’s dictionary defines a water fountain as “a machine that produces a small stream of water for drinking.” 

The earliest example of a functional water fountain dates back to 3000 BC in ancient Mesopotamia which was recognized as “the first civilization.” Is it possible that the prosperity of the Mesopotamians was due to their creation and use of these marvelous drinking contraptions?

This review isn’t something to be taken lightly. The importance of this report cannot be overstated. It is of vital significance to the hydrational well-being of this educational facility that this report be met with serious consideration.


  • I will rank every water fountain out of 5 stars in the school but will only write about the ones that stand out the most.
  • Two water fountains right next to each other will be considered as one water fountain.
  • My research team and I will be cleaning the nozzle before testing for sanitation purposes.
  • By the time this is published, water fountains may break or be fixed. The chronicling of every water fountain took place on 12/6/22.


W261 = 4.2

By far the best water fountain at Hopkins, W261 is perfectly designed to provide students with a steady stream of fresh, clean water to quench their thirst. The water is also chilled to a perfect temperature, making it a refreshing drink for students and staff alike. The fountain brings joy and peace and is a reminder of the pleasures of life to those who visit.


S125  = 3.6

The sublime taste and temperature of this water fountain aren’t the only thing that gives this water fountain its high score. It sits in the middle of the hallway by the nurse’s office leaving it incredibly accessible to passersby. While inspecting this water fountain, my research team and I ran into a fellow water fountain connoisseur, AJ Luke, junior. 

“Yeah, I just don’t know why they pour the chemicals directly onto the nozzle.” Luke said. He explained that all of the blue stuff on the nozzle was due to excessive amounts of chemicals used to sanitize it.


S170 = 3.4

W160 = 3.4

W233 = 3.3

W174 = 3.2*


The taste and temperature of the water are decent, but nothing special. Although it has unremarkable stats, the water fountain’s powerful water pressure leaves no surface of your mouth dry. The only foreseeable problem with this is that the water occasionally shoots outside of the machine onto the carpeted floor. It’s possible that bacteria, such as mildew, could arise from this design flaw. 


W163 = 3.1

W257 = 3

S156 = 2.9

S152 = 2.8*


This water fountain had a very underwhelming taste and temperature for it being considerably newer than its competition. The water shoots out in an abnormal fashion. The water pressure fluctuates throughout one’s usage causing the stream to move. Alejandro Vega, senior, is a self proclaimed “certified waterphile,” and has interesting thoughts about this fountain. “This fountain is kind of like a game,”Vega said. “It may not have the best water, but it certainly makes me laugh and giggle when I use it.”


W129 = 2.7

W180 = 2.6

RAC farther away = 2.5

RAC wrestling = 2.3

S190 = 0.8/5


While walking with my research team we saw a group next to this fountain. It was disgusting, with a drain full of dirt and chemicals. When the group noticed my research team and I performing extremely thorough sanitation on the machine, they asked if we intended to drink it as if we were doing a dare by drinking out of it. After explaining our research and its importance, they didn’t seem to think it was worth it to drink out of this feral water fountain. The water was lukewarm and tasted solely of metal. It was really gross.


E110 = 0.5/5


On your way to the RAC from the cafeteria, you will pass a hallway infested with sophomores skipping class. You may be intrigued by the pure audacity of these deafening juveniles. You turn the corner and are startled by an eye-shattering monstrosity. Its crookedness might be due to poor installation but I’d like to think it was due to scholars trying to destroy it after they got a taste of its “water.” I had to get horrifyingly close to the nozzle in order to drink. After I took a reluctant sip, the first thing I wrote in my notebook was, I kid you not, “taste of salami or pork, somehow heavy, putrid.” This horrendous display of a water fountain would make Halsey Willard Taylor roll over in his grave. 


Didn’t work on 12/6/22

-Downstairs RAC by Weight room

-Upstairs RAC by vending machine



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